Virgin Blogger

I feel like in my first post I should spend a few moments justifying why I've decided to start blogging. The truth is that I don't really know why I have. Perhaps it's because I've gone through a big change in my life recently and I'm looking for new avenues to explore. Perhaps it's because I am about to embark on a new (and most likely stressful) career and I'm thinking this could be a good outlet. Or perhaps it's because I see the beauty in the written word and want to become a part of this online culture of sharing your thoughts and ideas with a bunch of strangers..

I don't suppose it matters though, what's important is that I'm here to share and hopefully get something in return.

I have to say that the hardest part was coming up with a name for the damn thing, all the brilliant ideas that I had seemed to have been taken (some annoyingly haven't been updated in over a year!). Anyway I like the one I've got now, hopefully it will be fitting. Brownie points if you know what it relates too (I will try not to be too geeky - I promise).

I'm going through a tough time at the moment. I was in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man and it ended. Truth be told, I'm heart broken and the last few weeks have been particularly painful. It's not just that I miss him - which I do, every second - it's that I feel like all my hopes for future happiness have been crushed. I don't mean that to sound overly dramatic, I just thought he was the one... and now that it's turned out that he isn't, well how can I ever trust that feeling again?

I haven't been single for a long time and it's scary. I generally avoid being single since I'm not very good at it. But it's not without it's charm; I'm still adjusting to the whole idea of being able to do what I want without immediate consideration for someone else but it won't be long until I revel in it I'm sure!

Here are some things that have been getting me through this difficult time:
1. My family - they are wonderful and supportive and I couldn't do this without them. I feel very lucky to have them.
2. The fact that I'm starting a new job shortly - it's going to be very busy and very distracting.
3. I've started horse riding lessons - I absolutely love this!
4. Facebook (sad but true)
5. Sex and the City, Two and a half men and Scrubs. Very ashamed of this but there's nothing like American sitcoms to take your mind off things!
6. Thoughts of maybe moving abroad someday
7. Taking things one step at a time
8. Taking control of what I can control and trying not to think about the rest
9. Putting things into perspective (I always try to do this, doesn't always work but it's good to try).
10. Not being bitter. This has actually surprised me but it's the truth. I thought I would want to punch anyone that looks happy but actually I'm seeing the beauty in all relationships and secretly hoping that everyone around me will get married. Of course I hope that my ex will die a slow and painful death.. just kidding! I genuinely want him to be happy too, I really really do.

It's interesting really and perhaps a sign of how I've matured over the years, or perhaps a sign that the relationship we had was a good one and it just didn't work out as some things don't. Naturally I'm not hoping that he gets married any time soon.. but I want him to be happy.

Okay so tomorrow I need to get up early and clean my car (yeah right!) and go and paint my cupboard (not a metaphor) and sort out some paperwork and posters. Then I'm going for lunch with some friends and then I really really need to do some preparatory work, which doesn't leave much time for facebook and comedy central... hmmmmm....

At least is also doesn't leave much time for thinking and moping! There is some charm in that!